In fact, almost a year since my vicar announced he was moving on, since the Holy Spirit confirmed to me that this meant I was to stay at my church and make sure the season of interregnum was a positive one, a year since I’ve had time to stop and reflect, because the busyness of helping to run a church has left little room for reflection and blogging…
Not strictly true 🙂
I have had moments to breathe and relax, but it has been a busy year with ups and downs, mostly plain sailing but a few little squalls or threats of storms. We’ve had Jesus at the helm throughout, so we’re getting there.
Now it’s March. Already.
I find myself with an enforced time of sitting and resting, temporarily floored by a pesky cold that is resisting even the finest herbal and pharmaceutical remedies combined (I may move on to alcoholic concoctions next!) and finally have a moment to remember I write a blog…
So mostly at the moment my life is back to a period of waiting.
Waiting for our freshly-appointed new vicar and his family to move in, take up the reins and lead our church into the next exciting season.
Waiting for the Lord to show me what is coming up in a new season for me.
Waiting for the man He has for me to show up (or get a clue) and take the initiative…
In the past it has always been clear in which direction the Lord was leading me. Fresh from university he sent me off to la dolce vita in Italy for a couple of years of pizza, passegiatas and international student ministry. Later on He made it very obvious that the serenade of South African safaris and cuddles for little Zulus was my calling. And from there He brought me back to London, to children’s ministry and all the fun that comes with that.
However this time it’s a bit different.
I don’t have a strong sense of where to go next. I don’t have a peace about staying put (plus a slight problem of no funding currently). This time I feel I’m up against a bigger challenge of faith.
The one of waiting.
So far this year, doors have been closing all over the place. I considered becoming a proper vicar, doesn’t feel right. I’ve pushed a few teaching doors, that feels like stepping back into a place from which I have moved on long ago. I sense that the Lord wants me to be available and free for an opportunity that hasn’t been revealed yet. It feels like I need more faith to wait for this to come to pass, to wait on His timing.
It’s frustrating not knowing what is coming next. I want to plan. I want to know. Mostly I just want a long holiday on a sunny beach 🙂
I sense that God might reveal more to me in April. So there’s not that long to wait but it’s still a few weeks away…
And yet, every day, I have to keep reminding myself that even though I don’t know what is coming next, my heavenly Father does, and He has good things planned:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
And so, I wait.
In the meantime: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8d80ok40TQ